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Seven Orders of Love or principles that guide human relationships.




1. The Love of Belonging

  • Principle: Every member of a family system has an equal right to belong. Exclusion creates imbalances and systemic entanglements.

  • Application: This includes even those who may have been forgotten, disowned, or excluded (e.g., miscarried children, stillborn babies, or family members with "shameful" roles like criminals).

  • Healing Focus: Acknowledge everyone’s place in the system to restore balance.

2. The Love of Hierarchy

  • Principle: Family systems have a natural hierarchy based on time and role. Parents come before children; earlier generations have precedence over later ones.

  • Application: When children try to parent their parents (emotionally or otherwise), or when younger generations reject their elders, it disrupts the order.

  • Healing Focus: Accept and respect the order, allowing the older generation to take responsibility for their actions.

3. The Love of Balance

  • Principle: Giving and taking must be balanced in relationships, especially in partnerships. In families, parents give unconditionally to children, but children are not obligated to "repay" their parents.

  • Application: In adult relationships, imbalance leads to resentment or feelings of guilt. Between parents and children, the flow of love should always move forward.

  • Healing Focus: Acknowledge the limits of what each person can give and ensure mutual respect.

4. The Love of Acceptance

  • Principle: True love is unconditional. It requires acceptance of others as they are, including their fate, actions, and struggles.

  • Application: Attempts to change or judge family members often create resistance and pain. Accepting them as they are fosters peace.

  • Healing Focus: Release the need to "fix" or change others and instead embrace their individuality and choices.

5. The Love of Reconciliation

  • Principle: Forgiveness and reconciliation heal generational wounds and restore the flow of love in the system.

  • Application: This involves acknowledging past wrongs, accepting the pain, and moving forward without judgment or blame.

  • Healing Focus: Foster reconciliation by recognizing the humanity in those who have caused harm.

6. The Love of Fate

  • Principle: Respect for each person’s fate and life journey is essential. We cannot carry another's burdens or interfere with their destiny.

  • Application: This includes respecting losses, illnesses, or challenges faced by family members.

  • Healing Focus: Let go of attempts to take responsibility for others’ suffering and honor their unique path.

7. The Love of the Greater Whole

  • Principle: Family systems are part of larger systems, including communities, cultures, and the collective human experience. Harmony arises when individuals recognize their place within these larger systems.

  • Application: This involves recognizing that love flows not just in families but in the broader human context.

  • Healing Focus: Expand awareness to the interconnectedness of life and align with the greater flow of existence.

 
 
 

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Thevarakkavu Road, Kodamkulangara,

Thripunithura 

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